If You Can Understand

If you need love then look no further

Don’t spread your wings

No need to fly too far

If you need hope

Then i can give it to you

Fulfil all your dreams

And be your brightest star

If you want a chance

A chance to be loved

Give that chance to me

And i will be true

For in your waking hours

And the time that you sleep

I will be by your side

In all that you do

When chance is there

Don’t turn away

For these is no point regretting

When the times passed away

In my heart for you

There is a space

And with you in my heart

 I will have found my place

Always going to say

Never going to go

‘i love you’, three words

That mean more than the world to me

©sonofdel 2011

Wrote this for my fiancee when we were going through a bad patch.  Just wanted to remind her that she is the world to me.  Hope she never forgets it.

Mad Times

Not going to do a break down of everything we have done in the last week(s) or so.  Its been busy.........

Mainly sorting out christmas arrangements and getting my uni work done.  Have got to have my TMA02 in by 5th Jan at the latest and then my TMA03 in by 26th Jan !!!!!!!!!!!!

Health hasnt been brilliant but hey ho its that time of year.

Havent written any new stuff for quite some time and now its almost christmas i doubt that i will get the time.  Hope all my friends, family and readers are well and looking forward to a special christmas.

Hugs to those going through bad times and remember i am here if u need to talk (that what friends do)

Will keep posting every few days to let you know what we have been upto. A good thing is we are almost done christmas shopping (a miracle for us).

Warm wishes to all

My TMA01

Twelve Hours

The window reflects, strange distorted face

The image through the glass, cold, and dark

The pond, once beautiful, now an evil place

The landscape barren and stark

He turns, she still sits there

The photos and memories scattered before

Absentmindedly wipes away a lock of hair

And waits for the knock on the door

The man enters and looks down

He is sorry to disturb at this tragic time

And when he looks at me all he sees is a frown

And from the mantel clock there rings a chime

Just a few questions is all he says

And I turn and look out of the window once more

Yesterday was one of my darkest days

A day that rocked me to my core

She answers with a yes or a no

Doesn’t really know what is being said

And I turn and I shout at the top of my voice

‘For god’s sake sergeant our daughter is dead’

He sees the tears and looks embarrassed at the floor

And she still can’t look at me, not the way she used to

And he talks again for a few minutes more

Apologises and leaves, alone again are we two

Though I want to reach out and tell her it’s ok

I know in my heart that we each blame each other

We both want to talk, though have nothing to say

Then the phone rings again, this time it’s her mother

The tears start again and I feel hollow inside

I wonder what more I could have done

And I feel angry at myself for I still haven’t cried

And I turn and stare back into the sun

I feel like a man who has just lost his soul

And I know this feeling won’t ever go away

I should be the man, and just take control

but I can’t, I am not the man, not today

I can still feel her body as I lifted her out

The lights flashing behind me eyes

And in the darkness beyond I could hear shouts

And a series of pain laden cries

The kiss that I gave her to say one last farewell

The squeeze of her hand, simple thing

And I swear I could hear the last toll of a bell

As if the end of my life it did bring

Now I stand here alone, nothing inside

And she sits there and stares right through me

It’s been only twelve hours since our little girl died

Was it fate, our neglect, or a tragedy?

©Sonofdel 2011

I wrote this only a couple of weeks ago.  This was my original draft for my first exam on my OU course. I had to take an incident and make it into a poem.  It had to have impact and tell a story.  I got an 83 mark for this (although the final version had to be cut to 36 lines maximum)

OMG......what a week

Tuesday 22nd

Went town and did some more christmas shopping.  Got a few more items and came home as it was collllldddddd.

In the afternoon I decided to back up my documents and stuff onto our hard drive.

In the evening I watched some of the football that was on although i couldnt really concentrate on it..........mind was elsewhere.  Decided to watch another couple of carry on films to have a laugh.

Wednesday 23rd.

Had a visit from our friends mick and tony and they stayed for a couple of hours just having a general rattle.  Mick brought his new laptop down for me to give a onceover.  Its not a bad little system and it will be definitely do what he wants.  In the afternoon i  made a few phone calls and caught up with a few people. 

In the afternoon a little more coursework and went through my mp3 collection..........almost 15gig worth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the evening i watched the champions league football and again couldnt really get into it at all.  Watched another carry on film.

Thursday 24th.

Got up nice and early and packed the rest of the stuff we needed for our 4 days in Stoke.  Tony picked us up at about 9.30 and we made good time and arrived in stoke just after 11.00am.  Had a brew with tony before he set of back to Blackpool and spent a few hours catching up with my mum. 

At about 6.00pm we were collected by our friend Ian and taken down to my sisters.  Mandy and Roger went to a thanksgiving meal at their friends house and we offered to housesit and also watch our nephew Oliver. 

Mandy had made a lovely vegetable chilli and afterwards me, Deb and Oliver settled down to watch a movie.  Oliver decided on Drop Dead Fred a rather zany comedy starring Phoebe Cates and Rik Mayall.  Very funny in places and definitely can see why it appealed to a 12 year old.  After Oliver had gone bed we decided to scroll thorough the on demand services and ended up watching three episodes of a comedy series I had never seen (I am ashamed to say).  The series was Red Dwarf and it was very funny and I will definitely be watching more.

Mandy and Roger came home about 11.30pm and after a few minutes talking and the last twenty minutes of Mock the Week, we went to bed.

Friday 25th

Got up nice and early again (8.30am) and went into town with my sister and Oliver.  We met up with the family (my mum and my Auntie Pauline) and had a nice walk around Hanley town.  After my mum had left us me and Deb went back to my Auntie Paulines to put her christmas decs up with her.  I wasnt able to do a lot but my usual job is making sure that all the things that light up (there are over a dozen) are all controlled by one switch, so she doesnt have to bend too much.  These decs have to be seen to be believed !!!!!!!!!!
We left there at about 6.30pm and got a taxi home.  In the evening I helped my mum sort out her pc and also helped her to apply for broadband..........We are letting her loose on the internet (god help us.......lol).  Also watched a bit of tv with her before going to be about 1.00am absolutely shattered.

Saturday 26th

Again an early start (9.00am) and by ten thirty we were down town with my mother again who wanted to do some christmas shopping.  We had a good walk around too and while we were there we saw an army parade to welcome the soldiers back safely from Afghanistan.  There was quite a crowd.  We left my mum at about 12.00 and went back down to finish of my Aunt's decs from the day before.  We hadnt got a lot to do and used the day more to visit her and my Uncle Tony who i am sorry to say is a sufferer of Alzheimers (it has gotten a lot worse lately and we wanted to see him while he still knows who we are).  We had a good day and I made him laugh a few times (it was great to see them both).  We left at about 6.00pm and spent the evening doing nothing but relaxing and watching pointless television.

Sunday 27th

Wanted a lie in with it being Sunday unfortunately my body had other ideas and we were up just after 9.00am.  Spent a couple of hours with my mum and then at just after 12.30 our friend Ian collected us and took us down to his house where we had been invited for lunch.  It was a nice few hours and there was me, Deb, Ian and Pauline and Sarah and Mick (Sarah is Paulines daughter).  We had a good laugh and the afternoon passed really quickly.  Sarah and Mick left at about 5.00pm and then the four of us sat about talking rubbish and generally relaxing.  Pauline and Ian were going out at 7.30 and they were kind enough to give us a lift home (so glad they did as it was freezing outside).  Spent the rest of the evening trying to stay awake as we were both shattered.  Didnt go bed late at all.

Monday 28th

Up at 9.00am and packed the bag ready to come home.  Tony arrived at 11.00 and by 12.00 we were on our way back to Blackpool (we hadnt missed much as my sister Paula told us they had had 70mph winds!!!!!!!!!!).  Glad we missed that.  Got home and the house was freezing so the heating was on all day after that.  Sorted through the post and found out we had missed a parcel dlivery.  Checked email later in the afternoon to find out i had 366 emails in 5 days !!!!!!!!!!!!!!.  By the time i had cleared them down I had 71 left and the majority of these was surveys.  By the time I had finished it was gone 8.00pm and I was ready for sleep .........lol.  Didnt go though and spent rest of night just messing about on the net and watching TV.

Tuesday 29th.

OMG what a bloody ridiculous day this was.  Got up at 11.00am (finally got that lie-in i wanted).  Came down and switched the pc on only to find that there was no internet.  Bear in mind that this was the only day that i had planned to do a lot of stuff on the net (paying bills, ordering christmas presents, doing some course work etc......). 

Tried resetting the router and still nothing.  I rang Virgin media from my land line only to find that there were problems in the FY4 area (as we are FY3 i decided to give them a couple of hours).  At 15.30 still no internet (Deb had tried on her laptop too).  I rang virgin back and got told that there were no line problems and they gave me a freephone number to ring that dealt with peripheral problems.  I rang this only to be told that their computers were down and that they couldnt access any customer accounts and could i ring back in about an hour.  I waited until 5.00pm and rang their Technical support.  I spent the next 45 minutes being told to 'try this' and 'try that' and still nothing.  The gentleman (who I will not name) then told me that it could be my antivirus !!!!!!!!!!!.  A pc, a laptop and a netbook, two of them with different antiviruses ???????????.  After ruling this out he told me (and you wont believe this).......I quote 'well i cant find the problem so I suggest you try someone local !!!!!!!!!!!!'  I couldnt believe my ears, this was virgin media tech support and they were telling me to try someone else.  I rang back about two hours later and got through to a very helpful scottish gentleman called Jamie who informed me that Virgin Broadband had been having problems all day.  Why couldnt someone have told me that earlier ????.  I told him what the other gentleman had told me and he apologized as he couldnt believe it either.  He advised me to see if it was on by the morning and if not call back. 

In the evening we watched the new Lee Evans - Roadrunner dvd and although it was funny in places it didnt seem as good as his previous stand up dvd's.  *** (3 stars).

Wednesday 30th

Wow where did Noveber go ?

Ok got up and thankfully broadband was back (so much for it being a problem my end).  Got straight onto my virgin account and wrote a complaint letter which I emailed.  I have had a response to say it has been received and am now waiting for it to be dealt with (will keep you informed).  Spent most of the day doing the stuff I should have done the day before.  Mostly the bank, surveys and emails.  Did get a nice surprise in my email.  I told you a couple of weeks ago about the co-op panel i had done, well they sent me another £35 amazon voucher today............yippee............that will get another couple of Christmas presents.  We didnt get chance to do much else other than a Podiatry appointment.  I did find out something interesting though.  While i was at the podiatrists i asked what the difference was between a podiatrist and a chiropodist..................answer:  Anyone can be a chiropodist (even me).  You dont need any training, experience or nothing.  A podiatrist has to have 3 years university and a degree to set up.  Something I didnt know.

In the evening we decided to start on Supernatural season 6.  Not bad so far but lacking something at the moment.  Went bed at just before 2.00am.

Thursday 1st December

Not a lot to report from this day.  Other than emails and more christmas present ordering it was a quiet and trouble free day (still nothing of Virgin media). 

In the evening i got bored and watched some Europa league football.  First game was FC Twente v Fulham and to be honest i thought that Twente deserved the 1-0 win and it could have been a lot more.  The second game was Stoke v Dynamo Kiev and this was definitely Stoke's biggest test in the competition so far.  Kiev were slick all over the pitch an Stoke's power game didnt seem to be working at all and it was no surprise when Kiev went in front (albeit from a Stoke o.g. (Upson I think)).  Stoke played well and got their deserved equaliser right at the death with some brilliant play from Pennant (my man of the match) set up Kenwynne Jones for a simple header.  Stoke piled on the pressure in the last few minutes but the 1-1 draw was enough to see them through to the second round stages after Christmas (go go go go Stoke !!!!!!!!!)

After the football we settled down to watch some more Supernatural before going to bed just before 2.00am